“I was up until 4 a.m. last night crying, literally trying to think of ways to kill her and not go to jail....If I could literally kill her and not go to hell, I would do it in a heartbeat. That is how dark and how hateful I feel.” Former worship pastor and ‘American Idol’ alum Caleb Flynn texted his mistress more than 100,000 times in the year of his wife's death, revealing his dark fantasies about killing his wife, according to prosecutors during their opening statements.